8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
