after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
