It was confusing and full of hummus
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
