He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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