Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
