I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
