I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
