You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
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You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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