can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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