I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
