I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
