not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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