In the future we'll all be gay
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
