K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
