so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
