May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
my poor anus
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
