Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
