HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
