Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
