Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
