i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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