No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
