i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize