We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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