Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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