just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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