dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
