Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think people are normalizing furries
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
