i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and she was petting her beer can
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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