My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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