Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
