I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wanna go halves on a baby?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
