Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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