I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Betty ford says i'm here all night
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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