Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
