was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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