Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
