and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
