I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
