You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
