I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize