Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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