to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
whose parrot is this?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
