i jhust puked up my retainher.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
