remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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