I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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