well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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