Ambien. No doubt about it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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