They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
