i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
