Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
