So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize