i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
