I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
