Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
