Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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