if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
