I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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