sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
