It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
