So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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